How Love Grows…
Aaron and I on our Honeymoon-2005
Aaron and I will be married for seventeen years this summer, and it’s been a busy seventeen years! In a nutshell, our relationship consists of, dating through high school and college, getting married while I finished college, teaching agriculture education for twelve years, having four kids, making three houses a home, me making a career change, Aaron dedicating over twenty years being an auto mechanic, running kids to their extra activities, and finally flower farming the last few years. We also love to travel, show our kids to not fear the world, teach them the value of hard work, help them figure out how to not just float through life, and make our corner of the world a little better. Even though this sounds like a lot of cliche goals, it is the God’s honest truth. These values are a tall order and can be quite taxing on a marriage, but not impossible.
When our family was young.
And as I write this I became perplexed as to what to say about marriage…I’m definitely no expert, but I do love being married. And as Aaron and I sat down for our usual evening routine. Which this time of year is, catching up on our favorite shows after kids go to bed. So I asked Aaron, “So…what is hard about being married?” And in no time, he said being married to you(and gives me his usual witty smirk).” In return, I give him my typical dry sarcastic laugh because he is such a peach 100% of the time (If you know Aaron and me, you know sarcasm is our love language :-) ). I said for real, what is hard about it? We have had our fair share of ups and downs what makes it hard? And probably the most pivotal moment in our marriage just happened a few years ago.
We both felt the hardest part of our marriage was the years leading up to me quitting my full-time teaching career. At the time our lives consisted of constantly staying late after school for practice or traveling for FFA events, our twins were overextended in after school activities multiple nights a week (which they enjoyed at the time), trying to find time to keep up on grading and do basic housekeeping was a definite struggle. And being this busy meant spending more money to just survive the daily activities. Running through the drive-thru for meals, doing schoolwork in our car in between activities, and late-night catching up on any house stuff. We never could find time for ourselves. At this time Aaron and I had three children; two in school and one in daycare. Our normal conversation consisted of: “I have this event, or one of the kids has an extra practice so when can you get off work so we can divide and conquer? ….Oh! and we can’t forget to get the baby from daycare”…and there usually was a call to my mom for help on a regular basis. This routine went on for many years. And we did enjoy our kids’ activities and the on-the-go lifestyle, but in the pit of my stomach, I felt we were still missing the mark. Have you ever felt you just keep trying random new things to see if that is what is needed to fill the void? I think there is definitely a difference between being happy and loving being happy.
When I tell you when we found out we were pregnant with baby #4. It was ALL..THE.. EMOTIONS! How am I going to teach and keep up that momentum, be able to give all my children my focus, be there for my husband, and still have friends, or see my extended family? To say the least Aaron and I’s plate was pouring over.
Brayden and Grace becoming BIG’s the first time!
After a long night of pro’s and con’s and tears of excitement and fear if we can do this. We decided after teaching for twelve years, I would quit teaching and focus on our family. It was like ripping the band-aid off. The relief and anxiety melted away with the pain. Even though there was still fat to trim in our lives; this was a great beginning. At the time was secretly scared, could I be a stay and home mom? Am I cut out for the job? Am I going to miss having a professional job?
For years Aaron and I thought we had our plan figured out…. Now looking back, I never knew someone so small could make such a dramatic positive change in our lives. In the summer of 2018 I was pregnant with our youngest, we as a family was living in this cool, calm, and collected life. All those worries I had after deciding to stay home, melted away. All my focus was on 4.5 people. It was an AMAZING summer. There were days that we didn’t have to leave the house! Definitely win in my book! Aaron and I were able to take time to find ourselves and communicate what the next step will be, it was a time to just breathe and reflect on what is important in our lives. There were many nights Aaron and I were just in survival mode raising four kids, but there was also excitement in our hearts to make something our own.
Once Jase came into the world in the fall of 2018. I knew he was the missing piece of our family. He made us all slow down, reminded us what is most important, and to enjoy the little things in life. And after three years he still does that today.
Aaron and I making our dreams come true!
My heart is full! :-)
Thinking back and reminding myself of the struggles Aaron and I put ourselves through and for what? Marriage is hard, life can be even harder, but listening to your heart and prayer does work. Aaron and I thought we were happy living a crazy life but we didn’t know any better. Sometimes it takes a couple of little miracles to change everything. And if you think it is too late for you to make a change, believe me, it is never too late. The only thing that is holding you back is you.
Believe me Aaron and I definitely do not have it figured out. But here is what we know so far: Don’t let problems fester, welcome change with open arms, have faith in each other and in the Good Lord, make time with each other without kids; it makes your bond stronger, and finally, enjoy the small things!
What is your favorite activity you do with your partner? We are always looking for a good date night activity! Also, this may not be an article about flowers. But without this story, I wouldn’t have flowers to share with you all. It’s funny how winding the path of life is; the hills and valleys and around the bends make life an adventure. Enjoy your life…Make it an adventure!
oxoxo
-Carrie